Mistakes

God never makes a mistake.

His will is perfect.

He has gone before me and He will go with me.

These are all things I know to be true, so why do I feel like I am in the middle of a huge mistake?  First of all, there is nothing that I could have done to make this happen!  God opened doors and made a way for this to happen, and HE DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES!!

Why am I so afraid of failure?  I feel like I am going to fail at speaking the language, at living there, at being an assistant teaching English (English?? with high school students?  really??  ME??), and a failure at being away from home for such a long time!!  I've always wanted this, and I have been handed the most beautiful gift and opportunity, so why am I having such a hard time.  Why do I just want to sit here with my head in my hands and cry until I cannot cry anymore; something I have not done in a year or so!

I'm scared...I feel lonely already...I miss home/family/friends already and I have not left...

I want to soak in each day...every moment I have...I feel like my time is slipping through my hands and I cannot get a grip on it!  It's like that toy we played with when I was little...the tubey things filled with water that you squished and they would slip right through your hands...that is what my time is like!  Last night my Bible study was about being busy and ignoring your Bible study time and/or not living in the moment of each day!

I have 8 1/2 weeks....