A sweet couple that I know (well, I don't know them that well, but they went to church with me in Tuscaloosa) is looking to adopt a beautiful baby boy from Ethiopia. This is a God given desire and something that they have been praying about for many months, and maybe even years. Adoption is expensive and they are a young couple. The husband is the middle school minister at our church in Tuscaloosa (and the son of our pastor) and the wife is a beautiful, sweet, loving, wife and student at UA. They are adopting through Lifeline here in Birmingham I believe (a Christian adoption agency), and are using a website suggested by Lifeline to raise money for their adoption process. This (fundraising) was not an easy choice for them to make (see a blog she has written), but they prayed about it and have decided to proceed this way and allow God's timing and provision in raising the money.
God is so good to lay it on the hearts of loving, kind, Christian couples to adopt. I am going to put the link to their blog and fundraising website. If anyone wants to help, I know that it is going to a family who will appreciate it more than words can say.
http://joybaby1.blogspot.com/
http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=4922&url=thejoyfamilyadoption
One day I hope to adopt a child, or two. I love to see a couple who has a heart to love the children who do not have earthly families to love on them!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
Cheerleaders
I am so grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life; people who are continually cheering me on and encouraging me!
Many days I am fighting discouragement and a sense of inferiority. As I read through other Fulbrighters blogs from this past year I have a range of emotions: excited, encouraged, discouraged, inferiority, curiosity, frustration, and I constantly find that the saying, "comparison is the thief of joy" is BEYOND true! I often feel like I am Fulbright's experiment; I feel like they said, "hey! This girl has very little experience abroad and is from the south. Let's throw her in and see if she can swim!" I am constantly having to remind myself that God opened this door and that He is with me. I find myself quoting Brother Billy from Valley View all of the time; "God does not call the equipped, He equips the called!" I can find many things in my life that have equipped me for the upcoming journey I am about to embark on, but yet I still find myself feeling inferior to the previous Fulbrighters. They all seem so intelligent, well traveled (internationally I mean), eloquent with a second language, and well, prepared.
Things that have prepared me for the upcoming journey:
1. Moving to NYC with no job and no apartment...but that was easy...it was NYC...I LOVE LOVE LOVE NYC
2. My month in Florence last November
3. Italian minor at UA
4. THE THESIS PROCESS!! Bleh!!
5. Years of dance and all that came with it
6. My child development classes/experiences
7. Lesson planning for children
8. All of my amazing travel opportunities
I know that there are more and God will continue to show me how he has prepared me for this adventure. I am feeling sadness already about leaving. I am going to miss my friends and family so much, and I am terrified of not finding people I get along with and want to spend time with on a regular basis! I am fearful that the other Fulbrighters will not like me or that I will not fit in with them.
Most of all, I am afraid of failure. I have never truly failed at anything; that is NOT to say that I feel I am perfect or that I have been perfect at everything I've ever done; what it means is that I do not feel as though I have ever fallen FLAT ON MY FACE!!! I fear that this is that time...but even as I type this, I feel the Holy Spirit asking me, "how? how will you fail when I am with you?" God's unfailing love will surround me...He will keep me safe as He is my rock, my fortress, my shield, my protector, my provider, my healer, my shelter from the storms of life, my strength because I am weak, my comforter, and the one who knows my every need/pain/hurt/joyful moment/everything.
I am so grateful for the cheerleaders in my life...the ones that God has placed in my life for various reasons and in various seasons! I do NOT let go of people easily, and I am so grateful to have the most wonderful people in my life that love on me, support me, encourage me when I need it, hug me when I want it, help me dry my tears, make me laugh through my tears, and are there to tell me that everything is going to be okay! While I know that I depend on God 1st, I believe He places these people there for a reason! So thank you, to all of my cheerleaders:
My momma & daddy, Erin, April, Mrs. Malissa, Kelly A., Maria H-R, and many, many others who have been encouraging me via facebook, text, and in person!! I am grateful to each and every one of you!
Many days I am fighting discouragement and a sense of inferiority. As I read through other Fulbrighters blogs from this past year I have a range of emotions: excited, encouraged, discouraged, inferiority, curiosity, frustration, and I constantly find that the saying, "comparison is the thief of joy" is BEYOND true! I often feel like I am Fulbright's experiment; I feel like they said, "hey! This girl has very little experience abroad and is from the south. Let's throw her in and see if she can swim!" I am constantly having to remind myself that God opened this door and that He is with me. I find myself quoting Brother Billy from Valley View all of the time; "God does not call the equipped, He equips the called!" I can find many things in my life that have equipped me for the upcoming journey I am about to embark on, but yet I still find myself feeling inferior to the previous Fulbrighters. They all seem so intelligent, well traveled (internationally I mean), eloquent with a second language, and well, prepared.
Things that have prepared me for the upcoming journey:
1. Moving to NYC with no job and no apartment...but that was easy...it was NYC...I LOVE LOVE LOVE NYC
2. My month in Florence last November
3. Italian minor at UA
4. THE THESIS PROCESS!! Bleh!!
5. Years of dance and all that came with it
6. My child development classes/experiences
7. Lesson planning for children
8. All of my amazing travel opportunities
I know that there are more and God will continue to show me how he has prepared me for this adventure. I am feeling sadness already about leaving. I am going to miss my friends and family so much, and I am terrified of not finding people I get along with and want to spend time with on a regular basis! I am fearful that the other Fulbrighters will not like me or that I will not fit in with them.
Most of all, I am afraid of failure. I have never truly failed at anything; that is NOT to say that I feel I am perfect or that I have been perfect at everything I've ever done; what it means is that I do not feel as though I have ever fallen FLAT ON MY FACE!!! I fear that this is that time...but even as I type this, I feel the Holy Spirit asking me, "how? how will you fail when I am with you?" God's unfailing love will surround me...He will keep me safe as He is my rock, my fortress, my shield, my protector, my provider, my healer, my shelter from the storms of life, my strength because I am weak, my comforter, and the one who knows my every need/pain/hurt/joyful moment/everything.
I am so grateful for the cheerleaders in my life...the ones that God has placed in my life for various reasons and in various seasons! I do NOT let go of people easily, and I am so grateful to have the most wonderful people in my life that love on me, support me, encourage me when I need it, hug me when I want it, help me dry my tears, make me laugh through my tears, and are there to tell me that everything is going to be okay! While I know that I depend on God 1st, I believe He places these people there for a reason! So thank you, to all of my cheerleaders:
My momma & daddy, Erin, April, Mrs. Malissa, Kelly A., Maria H-R, and many, many others who have been encouraging me via facebook, text, and in person!! I am grateful to each and every one of you!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I have decided...
Today I was driving home from the library and I am still having mixed feelings about Italy! I am just dealing with nerves and fears. However, I heard this remake of one of my favorite hymns, "I have decided to follow Jesus" and I just felt like it was the Lord telling me that I made the decision to follow Him and this is where He is leading me! While as humans we hate to leave behind family and friends, it is part of following Jesus sometimes. Italy is not a permanent thing, but it is what is coming up; it is 9 months where I am sure that I will be tested, I will grow, and hopefully will come back stronger and more dependent on Jesus than when I left.
**These are the lyrics for the new contemporary version!**
"I Have Decided"
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back, No turning back
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
Though none go with me still I will follow
Though none go with me still I will follow
Though none go with me still I will follow
No turning back, No turning back
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
The world behind me, the Cross before me
The world behind me, the Cross before me
The world behind me, the Cross before me
No turning back, No turning back
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
Yeah, I will follow you, my God
**These are the lyrics for the new contemporary version!**
"I Have Decided"
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back, No turning back
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
Though none go with me still I will follow
Though none go with me still I will follow
Though none go with me still I will follow
No turning back, No turning back
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
The world behind me, the Cross before me
The world behind me, the Cross before me
The world behind me, the Cross before me
No turning back, No turning back
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You my God
Yeah, I will follow you, my God
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Mistakes
God never makes a mistake.
His will is perfect.
He has gone before me and He will go with me.
These are all things I know to be true, so why do I feel like I am in the middle of a huge mistake? First of all, there is nothing that I could have done to make this happen! God opened doors and made a way for this to happen, and HE DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES!!
Why am I so afraid of failure? I feel like I am going to fail at speaking the language, at living there, at being an assistant teaching English (English?? with high school students? really?? ME??), and a failure at being away from home for such a long time!! I've always wanted this, and I have been handed the most beautiful gift and opportunity, so why am I having such a hard time. Why do I just want to sit here with my head in my hands and cry until I cannot cry anymore; something I have not done in a year or so!
I'm scared...I feel lonely already...I miss home/family/friends already and I have not left...
I want to soak in each day...every moment I have...I feel like my time is slipping through my hands and I cannot get a grip on it! It's like that toy we played with when I was little...the tubey things filled with water that you squished and they would slip right through your hands...that is what my time is like! Last night my Bible study was about being busy and ignoring your Bible study time and/or not living in the moment of each day!
I have 8 1/2 weeks....
His will is perfect.
He has gone before me and He will go with me.
These are all things I know to be true, so why do I feel like I am in the middle of a huge mistake? First of all, there is nothing that I could have done to make this happen! God opened doors and made a way for this to happen, and HE DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES!!
Why am I so afraid of failure? I feel like I am going to fail at speaking the language, at living there, at being an assistant teaching English (English?? with high school students? really?? ME??), and a failure at being away from home for such a long time!! I've always wanted this, and I have been handed the most beautiful gift and opportunity, so why am I having such a hard time. Why do I just want to sit here with my head in my hands and cry until I cannot cry anymore; something I have not done in a year or so!
I'm scared...I feel lonely already...I miss home/family/friends already and I have not left...
I want to soak in each day...every moment I have...I feel like my time is slipping through my hands and I cannot get a grip on it! It's like that toy we played with when I was little...the tubey things filled with water that you squished and they would slip right through your hands...that is what my time is like! Last night my Bible study was about being busy and ignoring your Bible study time and/or not living in the moment of each day!
I have 8 1/2 weeks....
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Formalities and such
My blog (Questa e la mia vita) is intended to record my life in Italy (in Nov. 2011 and as Fulbright Student 2012-2013). This blog is not an official Department of State website and the views and information presented are my own and do not represent the Fulbright Program or the Department of State.
Hopefully this satisfies this requirement?!? :)
Hopefully this satisfies this requirement?!? :)
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Dare to dream...
"Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true."
I dared to dream a little dream....a dream I've been holding on to for years! I've always wanted to live abroad and Italy was at the top of my list. My friend Neal and I have been discussing this for years!! He always encouraged me to just up and do it! Well, that was not me...I do not just "up and do" anything!! However, I continued to dream! What I learned though was that I was not ready yet! I had so much to do: NYC, grad school, all of the amazing things in grad school AND the not so amazing things, I had to meet the people I've met, be broken down to nothing and restored/healed, travel to Italy in November, have time in Birmingham/Tuscaloosa, etc. NOW...now, the dream I dared to dream is coming true! My heart is racing and I want to cry (and have many times), but God is too generous! He has gifted me this amazing opportunity and there is nothing I could have done to force this opportunity...He has opened all the doors of opportunity and made it a reality!
-He allowed me to meet the right people at the right time...Dr. Hernandez-Reif (Maria) suggested it
-He gave me peace, clarity, the right words, etc. through the application and interview process
-He opened doors AND shut/slammed doors along the way so that when this door opened I had no doubts
-He has taught me patience throughout the waiting process of this amazing opportunity
-He will continue to open doors because He has gone before me and He will go with me!
This is such a blessing and while I know there will be scary times and lonely times, I KNOW THAT I KNOW He is with me and I take with me (in spirit, email, facebook, hand written letters hopefully, skype, blogs, etc) all of my amazing family/friends....my beautiful support system!
I feel so blessed to have had so many dreams in life come true! I hope that everyone reading this understands that dreams CAN AND DO come true...and the cheesy phrase about the scariest opportunities being the greatest...well, I hope that is true!!
More details to come as I figure them out, but I did get my official information today! So here I go...I'm diving in! It is getting more real!! :)
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true."
I dared to dream a little dream....a dream I've been holding on to for years! I've always wanted to live abroad and Italy was at the top of my list. My friend Neal and I have been discussing this for years!! He always encouraged me to just up and do it! Well, that was not me...I do not just "up and do" anything!! However, I continued to dream! What I learned though was that I was not ready yet! I had so much to do: NYC, grad school, all of the amazing things in grad school AND the not so amazing things, I had to meet the people I've met, be broken down to nothing and restored/healed, travel to Italy in November, have time in Birmingham/Tuscaloosa, etc. NOW...now, the dream I dared to dream is coming true! My heart is racing and I want to cry (and have many times), but God is too generous! He has gifted me this amazing opportunity and there is nothing I could have done to force this opportunity...He has opened all the doors of opportunity and made it a reality!
-He allowed me to meet the right people at the right time...Dr. Hernandez-Reif (Maria) suggested it
-He gave me peace, clarity, the right words, etc. through the application and interview process
-He opened doors AND shut/slammed doors along the way so that when this door opened I had no doubts
-He has taught me patience throughout the waiting process of this amazing opportunity
-He will continue to open doors because He has gone before me and He will go with me!
This is such a blessing and while I know there will be scary times and lonely times, I KNOW THAT I KNOW He is with me and I take with me (in spirit, email, facebook, hand written letters hopefully, skype, blogs, etc) all of my amazing family/friends....my beautiful support system!
I feel so blessed to have had so many dreams in life come true! I hope that everyone reading this understands that dreams CAN AND DO come true...and the cheesy phrase about the scariest opportunities being the greatest...well, I hope that is true!!
More details to come as I figure them out, but I did get my official information today! So here I go...I'm diving in! It is getting more real!! :)
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
It's not real...
YET.
Tonight as I talked to a good friend on the phone about visiting Tuscaloosa, I realized why I am having such trouble with the idea of leaving: I have not received any official information other than the city I will be living in and the two schools I will be working at during my 9 months in Italy. I do not know how/when I can book a flight, what my choices are of living situations, what exactly it is I will be doing, who I will be doing it with, will I be able to do the preschool involvement stuff that I proposed? How will they pay me? When/how do I get my visa? etc. etc.
So what does this all mean? Well, I have learned (a continuous process though) to be patient. I know that there is a reason that this is taking so long and in the meantime I am doing the things I can do and also learning to be patient. However, in the waiting, I do not know anything about where I am going...not really (and p.s. travel books have little to NO information about Cosenza or the area of Calabria in general). Therefore, the only thing that IS real, is that I am leaving. I think this is why it is weighing so heavily on me (not that it won't as the time draws closer anyway). For now, the only real thing is saying goodbye and spending as much time with the people I love as possible.
I do know that it will become real...maybe too real...and this will upset me as well. It does seem like a no win situation when it comes to being sad about leaving, but for now, it is hard for the ONLY reality to be the leaving.
This same friend said something that made me feel so good, and I do not even know if she realizes it; she said, "we'll all still be here when you get back!!" I know this...I hope that all of the people I love will still be here and still love me when I get back! It seems silly for this to be a concern, but again, right now the only reality is that I am leaving people...so far, nothing is real about where I am going.
Tonight as I talked to a good friend on the phone about visiting Tuscaloosa, I realized why I am having such trouble with the idea of leaving: I have not received any official information other than the city I will be living in and the two schools I will be working at during my 9 months in Italy. I do not know how/when I can book a flight, what my choices are of living situations, what exactly it is I will be doing, who I will be doing it with, will I be able to do the preschool involvement stuff that I proposed? How will they pay me? When/how do I get my visa? etc. etc.
So what does this all mean? Well, I have learned (a continuous process though) to be patient. I know that there is a reason that this is taking so long and in the meantime I am doing the things I can do and also learning to be patient. However, in the waiting, I do not know anything about where I am going...not really (and p.s. travel books have little to NO information about Cosenza or the area of Calabria in general). Therefore, the only thing that IS real, is that I am leaving. I think this is why it is weighing so heavily on me (not that it won't as the time draws closer anyway). For now, the only real thing is saying goodbye and spending as much time with the people I love as possible.
I do know that it will become real...maybe too real...and this will upset me as well. It does seem like a no win situation when it comes to being sad about leaving, but for now, it is hard for the ONLY reality to be the leaving.
This same friend said something that made me feel so good, and I do not even know if she realizes it; she said, "we'll all still be here when you get back!!" I know this...I hope that all of the people I love will still be here and still love me when I get back! It seems silly for this to be a concern, but again, right now the only reality is that I am leaving people...so far, nothing is real about where I am going.
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