Prayers

This trip to Italy is a direct result of months worth of prayer.  I prayed that as I searched for a job and/or a location that God would open and close doors as he saw fit.  I prayed that if I was supposed to receive the honor of the Fulbright Scholarship that He would slam all other doors/locations in my face, and He did.  The New York City door slammed so hard I cried a few times and was on the verge of breaking down.  Then, I prayed that if I was supposed to stay in Birmingham, that I would become accepting of this (because Birmingham is NOT my city...New York is MYYY city).  As I continued to apply to jobs I searched in NYC, Birmingham, Tuscaloosa, Charleston, Nashville, and a few other places.  My heart never felt at peace with any of these options.  I had a few doors open just enough for me to put one foot through them, and then they would slam on my toes, but every time it did the pain was immediately stripped away and replaced by a sense of peace that definitely surpassed all of my understanding. 

On April 23rd, the reasoning for all of this was revealed.  Italy, and the Fulbright Scholarship, were indeed the door that was meant to open.  For the first time in my life I had learned to let go and truly let God open and close doors as He wanted to, and I had to try not to force  my way through, which I so often try to do (I am type-A...I just can't help myself sometimes).  I have harbored a desire for many, many years to travel and see Europe and live abroad and do it with a sense of security and some sort of job.  I had friends always trying to convince me to just up and do it...to spend all of my savings and just hop a plane and say, "to heck with the rest of my life and school and savings and security!"  Now, this is not me!  Only now, that I have truly given my life over to God and allowed Him to be in control am I seeing how this is a possibility.

Just today I read a blog about being careful what you ask for and that in the end we can ask for our hearts desire and God always knows what is best for us.  If He grants us our hearts desire it means a few things:   
1. He already had it in His plan/desire/will
2. Our wants/desires/needs are now aligning with His plan/desire/will for our lives
How lucky am I that God is allowing this opportunity?!?!?  Will every day of these 9 months be a walk in the park?  Will I have a cushiony job/living situation/money situation/social life or easy access to a group of fellow believers?!?!? I honestly do not know; what I DO know is that every step of the way He will be with me and He will use this trip for my good, His will and glory, and I will come out of this experience a stronger, more healed, more faithful believer than before. 

However, I will not pretend that I am not already having fears and anxieties (which I struggle with daily and give them to the Lord because I cannot ease them).  I pray for many things and now, I am going to ask that anyone reading this will join me in these prayers.  Just as it was in November, I will be praying daily(hourly) for many things and I just want to ask that anyone who will, join me (and of course, feel free to share your own needed prayers and I will be happy to pray for you!!).  It is a long list, but please understand that it is just a list of all the things I am concerned about/having anxiety about/might need/do need, etc. 

Prayer List:
1. That I will continue to practice patience in waiting.  Waiting for information; waiting for the ability to plan things (flight, visa, housing, community involvement, etc). 
2. That I will be able to accomplish ALL of the things on my preparation to-do list.
3. Absorption of knowledge: the Italian language (which I spend multiple hours a day studying), Italian history, information about adolescents, American history/culture/politics (bleh), etc.
4. That I will find the strength to say goodbye (well, see you later...not soon really, but later).  This feels as though it is going to kill me.
5. That my remaining weeks here in the U.S. will go by slowly and be filled with joy, love, happiness, fun, etc.
6. That I will be able to say goodbye to my dog...this seems so silly, but it breaks my heart to know that he will not understand where I have gone and why I left him!
7. That I will have a safe flight to Italy (God was so good last time and gave me COMPLETE peace during the long flight and I KNOW it was due to my prayers and all of the people praying for me during that time!).
8. That upon my arrival I will find my way safely to Cosenza.
9. That I will find myself able to speak Italian with the locals and not stress about not being perfect in the language
10. That God will open doors for amazing opportunities (Reggio Emilia, etc); for opportunities that will prepare me for the future after Italy! 
11. That God will open doors for finding a group of Christian friends to spend time with
12. That loneliness will NOT be something that plagues me daily
13. That I will find daily opportunities to share my faith and strengthen my faith
14. That the pain of missing my family/friends/animals will be eased. 
15. That internet will be readily available (seems silly, but it is so important to me)
16. That communication with my family/friends comes easily
17. That my momma and daddy are comforted in my absence
18. That God will use me, my blog, my experiences, and my faith to reach others
19. That I will remember that God has gone before me and He will go with me.
20. I know my needs will be taken care of (from the BIG things, to the small, seemingly insignificant things), but my prayer is that I will be patient in the waiting; that I will remember that I am not alone and that through any "suffering/pain/happiness/joy/difficulties" in my life, God will sustain me and use it for His glory!
21. I tend to be an anxious person...I am praying that God will ease the anxiety and that He will comfort me minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day, and even month to month!
22. My momma
23. My daddy
24. That I will not find distance between me and the people that I cherish the most; I pray that this experience will only draw us closer and help us find other ways to connect.  I am a "quality time" (plug for "The Five Languages of Love") person and the thought of not being able to readily spend time with/text/talk on the phone with the people I love the most is SCARY!!

I do not necessarily need to know who reads this and who is praying, but I do need everyone to know that I appreciate your prayers; I appreciate prayers for the smallest things.  I know  that this is where God has lead me, but it still comes with humanly fears/anxieties.